Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Lack of motivation.


| This is serious|

As always, too much works to do but yet still not making any move. As always, wasting times doing nothing important. As always, keep repeating the same chores. As always,  I feel like I am the laziest person in the world and sadly ended up sleeping with tasks unsettled. I am not as ambitious as other friends who always improving themselves towards better individuals. I lack of motivation. I feel like I need some, but I never seek for that. I am positive that I am included in "golongan orang-orang yang rugi.." Sad but true. Hahaha. Aku rasa tahap aku ni dah reached level kronik tak boleh nak sembuh lagi. hoho. Kidding :P

I cannot feel my future. I have no pictures of it at all. What will I be. How will I survive. Seriously, for this time being aku memang blur. I need help. Really.

Sometimes, I envy my friends who have officially finished their studies with flying colours.  Seriously, to compare with them, I am far away to reach their level. *malu* I am way too behind.. I know, Allah dah tetapkan rezeki masing-masing, tapi aku tak usaha. As mentioned before, I lack of motivation.

Final year ni memang ada sindrom insaf sedar diri ke? Ataupun memang kalo final year ni  hormone jadi tak tentu hala ke..kejap sedih, kejap down, kejap semangat gile, kejap give up, kejap blur. Whatever, I just wanna stress that until this moment, I lack of motivation . Do pray for me please :'(

#PrayforArifah hehehe

epadzz : : orang kalau dia rasa orang lain je yang salah, jujur nak cakap ego dia memang tinggi mencakar langit.. Berat lidah mau minta maaf. Bukan jadi kecik pon kalo minta maaf. Seriously, you love Allah to forgive you yet you find it very difficult to forgive other people?? I don't need your forgiveness , cos I already gave mine to you, brah!

Monday, July 7, 2014

As a Trainee Teacher #2


Today is  my first day at school for my internship. What is actually internship? Went to school without knowing the fact about 'internship'. What a mistake! All I know about internship is "the act of dealing with people". Am I right? What if I left. Oh man, who get my joke. Never mind..... -.-"

Have so much tasks to do during this internship and now I am having brain freeze because of those tasks. What to do. My lecturer is very dedicated to give such extra tasks during my internship. I am not babbling, I just feel like sharing..hahaha.. Lah sangat kan.

It sokay. Ni kan last year. Last semester lg. Like it or not terpaksalah. Kalau ko nak grad you better do your best. Even pointer ko dah macam ape kan. Redha. Redha. Your fate is already written up there. Don;t worry. What;s for you wont pass you by kannnn..

Oh Okayyy guys.. Happy fasting. Selamat beribadat juga dalam bulan Ramadan yang mulia ni k!'

really can't wait for you to come into my life...even in my dream.
hahaha.. kbai!

epadzz: : i am officially bonda to addin habib... xoxo addin..

Sunday, June 29, 2014

As a Trainee Teacher....


It has been a while since the last entry. I am here now to some sort share my experiences during my practical last semester. I am actually preparing myself for the internship in not more than a week time from now. Last practical was the best practical I ever experienced in my life. I love the school, the administrators, teachers, students even the staffs there. Yeah, sekolah kampung, parents there are also nice and kind towards me and other trainee teachers. I love waking up early in the morning to just go to the school. What a routine! However, it really wasn't a matter to me. [for now]

Huh! It sounds good right? I am not that good actually but I really enjoy teaching. I didn't know since when I've got that spirit for the in the beginning it was not my choice. Hehehe. I learnt how to redha. Perhaps, Allah has opened my heart.

Will continue my writing...
Happy breaking fast...

Sunday, April 20, 2014

Stay out of my life, please..


"My body moves, goes where I will. But though I try, my heart stays still. It never moves......"

Memang hati ini milik mutlak Allah s.w.t. Kenapa tidaknya? Dia yang mencipta kita. Dia berhak ke atas kita sepenuhnya. Kan? Itulah yang aku cubakan katakan kepada diri aku sendiri sekarang ni. Dia yang berhak ke atas segala-galanya. Berhak ke atas hati aku dan dia. Aku belajar redha dengan keputusan. Aku belajar redha dengan ketentuan. Aku belajar menerima. Aku cuba menjauh. Ya, aku sedang mencuba.

Walau bagaimana hebat pun rasa suka aku pada seseorang, tapi bilamana Allah tidak menitipkan setitik rasa pun ke dalam hati dia, tidak akan jadi semuanya.

Walau segigih mana pun aku tunggu rasa itu datang ke dalam hati dia, tapi bilamana Allah kata, tidak! Maka tidak akan terjadi lah.

Walau setinggi mana pun harapan aku untuk bersama orang yang aku suka, tapi bilamana Allah s.w.t tidak mengizinkan, maka ia tidak akan berlaku..

Semuanya dengan kekuasaan Dia.

Dengan rendah hati,
Aku menerima ujian perasaan ini..
Aku belajar menerima,
Aku belajar redha,
Aku tidak mungkin marah,
apatah lagi berdendam.

Tenanglah dirimu dalam kehidupanmu
Biar tenang aku dalam kehidupanku

Please stay out of my life as you regarded that, the best for me.

Muahahaha.. Yelahhh,,,aku yang taip ni. Kbai.

Sunday, March 23, 2014

Run away!


I think that I should start a move. Angkat kaki, lari.
There's nothing worth fighting for anymore.
Everything seems like all my faults.
I never thought that it would end like this.
Like hell you know.
After all that I've done, this is what I have in return.
A stupid accusation.
Backstabbing people! Backstabbing!
My heart has broken into pieces bro.

I have promised myself long time ago that I would never post something like this in my blog. But today, I broke it. I have no where else to shout out my disappointments. After all bro..After all.. I don't know how you look at me as a friend. Yeah, I know you have bunches of friends. Losing me is not matter to you. At all.  I know. But please, I have a heart. A heart bro. Do you want me to explain to you what is a heart?? You have yours too and you should know that how hurt it is when someone you love accuses you to do something you never did. I am so disappointed.

Forgive me for all my wrongdoings for you and I have forgiven you long time ago. Don't forget that Allah is the most forgiving.

I am hurt. The accusation really hurts me. Really.

epadzz : : i should listen to my mother long time ago and now i regret that what she said has became true.